He was just a bad boy with angel wings….
He was a beautiful boy. An angel boy…. too beautiful to live though. Death looked upon his soul and looked very deeply into his eyes.
He was never afraid.
He took his swords and vowed to protect his soulmate.
A wanderer of souls.
The very angel who knew of everyone’s secrets.
Gabriel, the angel of death.
O how I loved him as he cradled me in his arms and loved me throughout the night.
My heart is like an iceberg.
Love me till death.
Love me lest I freeze
For you are the one person who has kept me warm throughout the night.
My heart is like an iceberg.
Love me till death.
Love me lest I freeze
But I am still warm for you
My heart bleeds for you
And I am still here.
Warm.
There are light pools of a pair of onyx black eyes called infinite space that I wish to drown into, dream in and love with.
I dream I am making love to you. And that you’ve returned to me.
O Fortuna, be merciful to me in my time of need.
Bring him to me and let him love me all the days of my life.
Lover, my lover.
Come back to me.
Love my soul.
Save me from hazel eyes and dark, coffee brown skin.
For the truth is darling,
I see stars in your eyes
And the moon in your soul.
and I wish you would take me away….
Baby….
There is no place in this world for me and I am left alone….
Cold,
And lonely.
Longing for you.
To love me….
And no other happiness can befit me than to be with you.
There is a boy with hazel eyes and a mess of red hair.
His skin is white and he does delight in women creamy fair.
His eyes o how they do change color in the sunny September air.
He smells like you; like Spring inside of Winter including his hair.
Your skin the color of brown coffee mixed with cream does not compare.
I think sometimes I would have loved him but not like you and would’ve loved an heir.
But he’s not mine.
I think it fine;
If I just secretly love him there.
With your sad eyes that turn hazel,
My forest green, o my forest green
He had loved her since she and him were small children.
He was the normal type with a good heart and a good family. he loved her until high school where she was never seen again. One night changed everything.
High school was not fun. She dropped out of the first high school she went to and kept going to different ones because of her father’s beatings. One time he hit her so hard that she was knocked out. She was only nineteen years of age and somehow robbed of a childhood. She was twenty years old.
Her lover had beaten her again and left her for another man.
She cried that night.
Every night.
God didn’t want her. In fact…. nobody wanted her.
Every pill she took, every time she’d awaken and God would simply tell her to leave heaven and she’d wake up half crying in the hospital.
She tortured herself because everybody got the best of her.
After being stabbed, beaten and shamed by every person she knew, she was in great pain with her fear of men and the depression of being tired of life.
They say once in a lifetime that every girl falls in love.
She couldn’t know love.
Not when she wasn’t wanted.
They hated her. Men she had feared and she had also feared falling in love.
She was sick and she had fallen in love with the mere thought of death. She was a prostitute but yet she was not.
Men would come to fuck her at night and there was no one to listen to her cries of the marred pain inside her throat and the pain inside her stomach and her heart.
Her life; her dreams shattered around her like glass that was broken from a memory of when she was still a child lost in her prime of youth. She felt hideous growing older and she begged God the father to make her leave the earth but he spat at her, he never wanted to speak to her again and no one else wanted to be near her.
Slowly losing her sanity, walking through the streets in her lavish dresses, she walked among the sleeping children of God but knowing her, she was damned.
A damnation so great they no one wanted to help her. No one could at this point of the present.
She seemed help, medication and turned to suicide but sometimes and almost never had it helped.
Everyone got the best of her and to her it wasn’t enough.
She\\\’d have to stay away from the people she knew, loved, and respected.
She left without a word and sat on the stairs near a dark gutter near a ditch with a sign that said skateboarding was prohibited and in her heart she knew that everything was her fault because she knew all too well that she could have prevented her karma.
In all she had done, she still couldn’t understand why she couldn’t die. So instead she wept and wrote about why God had left.
The woman felt badly that she couldn’t die of the eternal sadness and the darkness that became her and consumed her flesh making her feel rotten like a toy that had been used and broken for leisurely purposes; uncared for; used for shock value and taken for granted. Her naivety, her sweetness and her laughter; all a dark joke waiting for her in the night to come home to her and kiss her sweetly with dark dreams; violent hope and wild endings.
But he saw her. Walking. She had tried to coax her into his car. She was so depressed that she had gotten in. He was a good man who loved women, and he understood what love was and how women, such creatures could easily break apart and so forth. He was a steady man who had a steady girlfriend. He was also very warm towards people. But this, he was warm to the first person, the first woman who had gotten into his car. For when he saw her he felt compassion and as she looked at him drunkenly, his whole life flashed in his eyes as she nuzzled against him. He had recognized her from the high school she had dropped out from. He recognized her but she didn’t recognize him. He let her cry on his shoulder as he held her tightly.
So she told him everything as she began to become sober. And although he believed that he had found the one as he dropped her on the street near her home, he knew he urgently had to see her again.
***
She was a troubled woman who loved him because everyday she saw him as he would come up to make her breakfast and leave poetry by her bedside. He substituted himself for every man who had fucked her senselessly. They fell in love and when he told her what he had done she had cried and he had never seen her ever again.
***
He tried to marry her years later but she had only wanted to be friends. But he had to be with her. He asked her, “What of skies that look like marble, that look like oil spilled across some sea? What of wheat grass reaching for the last remains of light before winter returns? What of the intricacies of this life?” (1) why not marry me?
She took her purse and walked out the door. And as she walked, she had cried.
“And as the moons of youth spilled once more into dawn we felt ourselves infinite again, if even for a moment.” (2)
He had loved her before. When she found the poetry he had written her, she knew it was too late and that they could only be friends.
***
Years later, his wife had left him for someone else. the ripe age of forty-two. She was pregnant with another man’s child.
He found his old soul again. She resisted as he had kissed her but eventually she kissed him back he took off her dress to reveal her subtle breasts and her nipples as she softly moaned. He kissed her body entirely and made love well into the night.
For the rest of their lives, their chapters were written into by each other. an argument there and there but they grew old and perished….. together.
(1) Tyler Knott Gregson
(2) Atticus
You remind me of June rain that falls down my hair in Summer
as you kiss me on my head.
You do know that your hair reminds me of Summertime.
The black, distant pools in your eyes.
But yet you smell just like Springtime in mid-Winter.
You are making me learn to love the sun more and appreciate life.
Please…..
Tell me this is fated to be and not just mere coincidence.
Tell me you’ll love me
Tell me you do
And I will see you everyday when the going gets at its roughest.
I would literally do anything just to be close to you as your body pulsates with heat.
I want to kiss you, but I’m assuming that beggars can’t be choosers.
Please darling; let me kiss you again;
Your lips….
Once is nice but thrice is just as.
There were some days when he’d just look at me and stare; sometimes out of the corner of his eyes.
And there were some days when he had known I just wanted to fit in.
Sometimes I get this funny feeling that he had known I felt that way,
But he was the one who I keep thinking had wanted to tell me,
“Silly girl, your different was your beautiful all along.” (1)
I loved his voice.
His voice was deep and his eyes had my heart.
My name coming from the sound of your voice calms me and makes me feel serenely secure.
You are the only person whom I can forgive and yet you are so easily touched that you tend to be breakable.
This is why no one touches your heart but seemingly me.
I get butterflies knowing that it is you who will be my forever.
Tell me that you love me.
Tell me you’ll see me again.
You protect your heart, but not from me and your eyes melt into mine so beautifully.
I think about you all the time until you seem to be;
Everywhere.
You do know that when I’m with you, seconds last forever,
And you do know that I love it when you tremble as you breathe while you’re holding me in your arms right?
I love your breath on my hair,
And your hands on my body.
I crave your wavy hair the way it normally looks,
And I love the way you make me feel secure at night.
Tell me you love me….
In seconds.
because in my mind you’re kissing me.
I will miss your subtle comments,
Your black hair;
And your black pools for eyes with the sadness I cannot seem to fathom within the depths of the oceans.
I wonder if I shall see you after graduation.
Hopefully; I will.
Only because “love could be labeled poison and we’d drink it anyway.”(1)
Atticus (1)