Nobody

She didn’t really mind walking in the rain on a cool night.

No one would help her.

She was so used to being alone like that.

But she wasn’t

In her imagination….

Because in her mind she had long flowing blond hair although her hair was scraggly and black.

In her mind she had soft white skin and is skinny although she hasn’t much a shape of a body.

In her mind she had a reassuring boyfriend who tells her he loves her almost all the time.

In her mind she had lips that were full with beautiful eyes and a beautiful face like a painting.

Men adored her in her mind and in reality she giggled at the thought because in fact she had nobody.

She was a strong woman and she didn’t need anyone.

She had battled her dragons and she had met death and overcame him.

She never really worried only because she had left her insecurities outside.

She loved no one.

And she’ll never love you.

Religion

She wasn’t Catholic but she knew what magic felt like.

She wasn’t Pagan but she knew what drawn blood felt like.

She wasn’t Christian but she knew what pride and fighting for something felt like.

She wasn’t Wiccan but she knew what falling in love felt like.

She wasn’t Taoist but she knew how to be patient.

She wasn’t into Shintoism but she was always fascinated to learn new things.

She wasn’t into Buddhism, but she knew perseverance.

She wasn’t much into religion; but she knew what heartbreak; rejection and how to feel shunned felt like…..

Until she found a new religion and a new God; life and herself.

Your Touch

You are my heart’s passions.

My heart still aches for you.

I long to be in your arms.

Although you belong to another woman;

Who am I to judge?

But only to long to be in your mind and at that, in your life.

Forever.

To retouch your heart; your mind and my soul.

Return to me.

Once more.

When we touch it is like a friction of a small shock of lightning.

It is like the world is spinning about me so be it.

Because in my mind I am still touching you….

In A Little While

In a little while, when the sun is up and it’s Spring,

I’ll never forget how I had met you and how good of a person you are to me.

I may never forget that certain things like starlight exist in people’s eyes like yours

and that sometimes when twilight fades away your eyes invoke a certain kind of sadness,

I’ll be married to someone else and in the meantime, you will be happier sipping a cup of coffee in a nearby cafe.

Meanwhile I’ll remember why shooting stars really are the way they are; and why they have to fall sometimes.

You may not miss me but while I’m in his arms, I’ll be missing you….

The Torture

Tortured minds are tortured and become broken souls with beating hearts for the eying vultures to feed on your vulnerability.

As a young woman, I knew that there were no such things as saints where I come from….
I regretted my life at the age of four,
Broken my heart at the of five
and tried to take my sorrows into the remission of souls at the age of twenty….
Now I howl at the moon
and I sleep in my bed.
Alone….

She was in love, but no she couldn’t love him; for she was afraid to give him the burden of a broken heart.

I now understood what it meant to hurt and just how unsustainable the human condition could be with a broken heart and a crying soul with a deteriorating mind.

For to be without you and your smiles and subtle glimpses; I cannot survive.​

To Cry

Under the moonlit night with the clouds I stood, stopped and stared. For the first time in my life, I noticed. You hadn’t felt the same. But the night is deadly. It is what it is, poison. It was the heart wrenching pain that you had lied to me, yourself and your heart. And the hardest part was choking back tears of regrets remembering a reminder over the trivial that you refused never to know in time til it broke your soul. You broke my heart. And you left me. To cry.

But baby, you with your eyes made of galaxies shall always have my heart forever.

Silly Boy

Silly boy;

Hasn’t anybody told you

That it is I who wishes to lie in your arms and know what is on your mind always?

The one who wishes to see you laugh like that all the time?

To be the one to make you laugh?

The one to make you reminisce on love?

The one who wants to kiss your soft lips???

For Always

You feel nothing but emptiness inside and all you can do is hide from love.

I ought to take you and to kiss your lips gently; holding you to my soul’s contentment.

You look at me as though upset at the mere moment we had met.

And yet you make love to my soul.

Undressing me with your eyes;

Whilst in your mind I am as naked ; nakedness as you probe me with licks of fire in those eyes.

You look at me as though I’m in your bed.

You fill my cup with your laughter and you light my days with your darling presence.

I love you just as I have loved you forever.

For always.

For always I step outside to wait just for you.

I cannot help but hope you’ll be mine forever.

But you don’t love me…

And you don’t look at me anymore.

No attempt at looking for me because you constantly continue to be inside your feelings for me of the past.

No

You refuse to let go.

You refuse either to tell me you love me or if you did not.

And could it be,

Maybe you really are made of stardust….

And maybe it is I;

looking for always….

Closer

It was the quelling of a fountain pen;

the utterance of a heartbeat that led me to him

I just wanted to be closer.

Closer to the jar of stars that was hidden within him…..

It lay under a sea of hearts where love was almost nearly unrequited.

Your black, onyx eyes are as crystal clear as midnight skies.

I love you and although I know I could never love you again…..

Your memory dares to lie down on me once more.

I see your face as my heart turns into the sea where you left me.

Somehow with your memory, I see you collecting my heart; smiling as stars twinkle in your eyes.

How could you leave me in heartbreak?

Tell me you are still waiting for me….

wishing for me….

wanting me….

just as i want you….

But you are a poet who needs my tragedy for your art.

And here I am floating in a sea of sorrow

waiting,

waiting for you to say you’d want me

Had it been fate? Destiny?

Little do you know, I was waiting for you too….

I adore you….

Please be mine….

Stay….

Closer to me….

Closer this time….

Closer….

Their Eyes

The most boring thing about you is that you are so petrifyingly silent.

But when you’re not you illuminate the room in the most electrifiable way with your eyes.

In most cases, their eyes would compare but I find yours most definitely; on the utmost, most daringly charming.

But how would those electrifying eyes ever dare to even look at me?

To adorn me with their passion in their light?

Dearest Friend,

O how I long to see you again and o just to hold you in my arms and just to tell you what lies in my heart of hearts.

You are wisdom that never tires with age.

You are my peace; my candle burning in the wind within flaming embers that never really burns out.

You are my smile behind my cup of coffee.

My blanket on cold weeks.

My love.