I was the girl who didn’t have time for princes and promised forevers.
I was the girl that wanted to ride a motorcycle and get tattoos.
I was the girl who breathed fire and paraded herself by striking fear into the hearts of men.
I dream I am general of a thousand armies of people who were like me.
People who understood me and took me in.
Now, here I am.
I was living young, and wild and free.
I was the kind of girl you’d fight for.
Just thinking of you,
You make my heart melt every time.
Because in my dreams;
I am kissing you.
Only you….
And although you are gone;
I want you to promise me that you’re
mine….
Here I am in my thirties now writing about silly, romantic poems in my room on a desk and thinking to myself,
This is not a love story.
I panic but I think of you as you are always in my thoughts, in my words and in my dreams.
My angel, my demon;
my pain, my pride;
my happiness and my sorrow.
I have loved and I have lost
I am still a dreamer and I have yet to follow my dreams.
But I am still stuck thinking that you will still be there in my future;
and still the boy sitting on a church pew;
but gazing at me…..
I was a young girl who dreamt of far away places.
I was a witch, a scholar, a dreamer and a poet doing tarot readings in my room until I thought of you.
And my future blended very well with yours.
And to get to the point of the subject,
You are my far away place; my subtly sweet escape;
And as I thought about you,
my dreams were made into stars as I wished
that you would stay mine forever.
Now that it is Covid-19 time, I would like to say that I am perfectly healthy despite the fact that I had the common cold this Spring. I am almost a graduate with one-hundred, eleven credits and six more classes to go. I have asked the president of the University of Guam in all respectfulness and confidence if we are finally going to have a doctorate program,so hopefully by the year 2022, we shall have that capacity. As of now, I have nine credits and will add an additional nine just to be on the safe side.
I thankfully do not have Covid-19, but I am very aware that I could still catch it. I miss going out without a mask, but I shall have to tolerate it and be respectful and patriotic for my fellow colleagues so they will not get sick. I understand that it hinders our well-being and since there are a lot of disrespectful people who feel they are exempt to wear the mask, I feel that to flatten the spike of Covid-19 is to bring hand sanitizer and wear a mask to prevent sickness.
Guam is opening up slowly as the slope or the curve is steadily going down. (Hopefully!) I’m going to miss having classes without having to awkwardly socially distance myself during hybrid classes since the hybrid classes are somewhat online on the laptop and in class. I guess we will see where this will go knowing that I will have a lot of things due to turn in for three classes, but who knows! The curve may go down more! Prayers!
In a hot sweat;
in blood partially dripping wet;
My gloves on the table of doom I have decided to set.
In the hopes that another would come along;
I secretly shooed them with morbid a song.
I think I’ll wait awhile longer I bet
For another set of young girls; an unholy set.
Another for a young man to pay the debt of which I have not spoken of yet.
I begged with her to come along.
To listen to my mournful song.
A price for the devil as of yet
I suddenly claimed her in a bet.
I made her sing a moaning tune
In her bed at the night of the full moon
And sealed my fate with the devil kissing and caressing me in that room.
I left her in the morning again for a pleasurable gloom and doom.
a villanelle, in which the rhyme scheme is ABA ABA ABA ABA ABA ABA
Behind every mask lies a secret,
Behind every secret lies a mask.
My life; a meaningless play from the sort; from the start and it was a play I could not escape from my secrets placed on tarot decks on bet
My past and its inequities and only to include love’s labors had emptied me only to require my escape of past regret
And although I could never cease to exist, In my mind I was a time changer; a liar of sorts if anyone you should ever ask.
So I put on my mask as if for a play and struck every demonic increase of my past that came to me; sexualizing me in human form. If it were you I would definitely let.
I miss you and I love you behind my mask and on this you can bet
I do my daily plays out of task.
And I try to fit you in my play every chance that I can get.
And surprise, you are there on set.
Behind the scenes I wear my mask
And everyday the play is where it’s you I get.
Until I am a ghost to you the closer it seems I get
but if you want me just ask
and it will be me forever that you will not regret.
I could not take off my mask and I hid it with pride hoping my love; that you would heal me; I; a madman alone could be obsessed with the thought that love would save me; feel me; introduce me; come to me….. Back tome and my circus of dialect
Behind every secret lies a mask.
In this play of life my deepest secrets are hidden inside of you and that is all of me you get.
Behind every mask lies a secret.
Blood dripping down his
knife, he turns to watch and see
who is there. You are.
The lonely stalker
Walks up and down the streets
Tonight he looks for you
a villanelle, in which the rhyme scheme is ABA ABA ABA ABA ABA ABAA
I have loved and I have lost
….and now all is gone.
And as memories resurface, a sea of nothingness rolling by is a shattered dream.
You were never mine and I felt crossed
As I was never yours. I was alone with my thoughts; insanity in the darkness but with sanity at dawn.
And nothing is greater than your first; left like a child in the woods it would seem.
I love you and now I pay the cost
I feel you are a loving con
but it’s you I want forever, it may seem
I have loved and I have lost
it seems yor love was off then on
but only women can dream hoping on your love like a moonbeam.
I have loved and I have lost.
…..and now all is gone.
Nothing but a scattered fragment of some lonely dream.
In my bed I’ve turned and tossed and dreamed of your face as the moon shone with a gleam.
And my heart is seemed had turned to frost
I wait for daylight in your loving sun rayed beam
You’re something I would always get mad at; something I’d never forgive but yet redeem.
I love it when you make me wait.
Tease
Me…..
Baby…..
The flame had never died. And how odd that you’d reciprocate the same silliness as of that to me.
Tell me you’d come back to love me again.
To melt with me with your eyes as they rove across my body.
Melt in me….
Let me go thirsty…..
To hunger for the sweet sugary taste of your tongue and most of all your lips as you grimy back and hold my breasts pulling upon the sweat of my body.
Pour your sweet sugar in me.
Make love to me.
My love; with sweet black eyes and a hue of a heart of golden embers that once blazed like a fire for me.
My darling, I cannot help but love you from afar. To look upon you and your smooth Caucasian skin.
Kiss me softly and I will never leave
You….
For I love you with all my heart.
Let me melt in your eyes and let me gently touch and caress your body.
My lover, o lover of mine,
I will love you till the day I die.
Keep loving me….
Sugar...