I Know Alone

Dear C. S,

I was in the time of my life. I thought I could conquer and control it.

The loneliness. This is partly a dark chapter in my life. And probably the saddest.

When my birthday came when I was only the pubescent age of ten years. I knew where I had to be. It was a dark side in a time in my life where I had to be alone to get to where I belonged and where I wanted to be.

I was haunted by the cold looks my friends gave me when I told them to stay away from me. That I never wanted to see them again.

They were never my friends.

It was a dark time in my life. Studying relentlessly and being busy. Trying to be the number I hated, loathed inside my bitter soul, number one at the top.

I felt nothing.

My alienation turned into my haunt in my house and I lived alone.

I knew alone.

I know alone.

I had to get better.

I had to be better.

For myself because I prove nothing for no one but myself.

Even now I am uncanny.

I sought and still seek thee unknown.