Ocean

As I dive into the fresh ponds of the waters between the catacombs of reeds, I feel the fresh waters rippling through my face as I swim upward to the surface and feel the cold wind on my face. The wet, morning dew on the grass slowly evaporating into mist. The rush of the water still with me, the trees swaying in the misty breeze…. The morning air is sweet with the smell of pine and from the view I can see the mountains and its green grass. Amongst the coast of sand and green grass stays the coast of the sea. The water surrounds me and engulfs me and I slowly drown in my defeat. Sometimes you cannot win and sometimes you have to lose everything that’s beautiful to understand pain. I engulf myself into hell’s boundaries with my head spinning up and down to and fro. I wanted to go to hell even though I knew there was a heaven I left on earth and a heaven I left up above thee earth. And I knew that meeting the devil who would judge me wouldn’t mercy my soul. But I of course knew what it was like to bring pain. To pierce the flesh, to bring pain to others and start new wars with what I could never stop. Yes I used to tell myself….there is a war inside my head from which barely springs forth life and prosperity. Yes this was the I had chosen and I drown myself thinking hysterically that I cannot breathe but yet the people whom I’ve hurt and laid to rest by the scythe and the green grass I’ve so longed for are gone. And i too myself shall also be gone and with it nothing left to offer. Like water it slips through my fingers and goes too soon, too little, too fast.